Diary

	Every where the doctor touched it hurt ... I didn't feel any pain myself. But when the doctor examined everything hurt to touch. The doctor straight away ordered ultrasound scan, ab scan, bloods and urine tests. She thought it was a urinary infection and gave some oral medication until the scan results came through.
	Post Op 6 months check
	Post Chemo Scan
	6th chemo session It was emotional and full of hope. Both leading up to and on the day. Wasn't really sure what the day will hold. In the morning mindfulness session the psychiatrist said the clinical nurse couldn't find my bloods. Moment of panic, but my GP had called the previous day saying they have blood results and would like to discuss. I had told them that I was going to the clinic so not to worry. So I knew they were there just wasn't sure what was happening. Also I got to read my poem on Body and Mind : Friends or Foes at the mindfulness session. Really enjoyed the feedback on that. I had arranged for some small tokens for the nurses and doctors through a hand made chocolate outlet and individual chocolates for the ladies who come for chemo. Because most peoples cycles are one or three weeks, I meet the same ladies every time. The doctor had changed over but there was no concern and the session went ahead. Had to ring the bell at the end to mark the completion of the doses. Next will be all review and monitoring appointments from both the post op team and chemo team.
	5th chemo session Full of drama this one I will be writing a post about it.
	4th chemo session No dramas. Bit nervous due to the after effects of the previous session. But the drip went without any issues.
	3rd chemo session This time it actually went smooth. The doctors prescribed panadol and endon as pre-medication and the drip went all ok.
	2nd chemo session Take two. Same reaction in the body and same reaction with the staff.
	1st chemo session After prepping, the nurses turned on the chemo drip and said, "Remember how you feel now? if you feel anything changing call out no matter what we are doing." I was watching them prepping others in the room, one with a pressure arm band and one with a thermometer in the mouth. And I called out "Excuse me" "What is it?" "Lower back pain" One of the nurses pressed an alert button and all hell broke loose. Around 10 people showed up including the surgeon. Everyone had a very specific task to do. One stopped the drip One put on an oxygen mask on me One prepped an anti histamine One brought a pillow for my back One put on a pressure meter etc etc There was no other pain any where. The doctor fired a few rapid questions about breathing difficulty, shortness of breath, dizziness chest pain. Nothing. Just an excruciating back pain, like I had fallen on my back. 10 mins with the anti histamine and the pain was gone. Half an hour rest and they started again and finished without any more drama.
	Meeting the chemo team This team was all about telling it as it is. "If anyone was to get a cancer this is the best one to get" "This is a poison we are injecting your body" "You are going to lose all your hair in the first month" "There is no better reason to ask for time off work"
	6 sessions of chemo First follow up appointment with surgical team, they explained that my condition probably stemmed from endometriosis and was lurking in the back ground for over 15 years. They had taken off everything that was visible to the eye that seems to be the problem, but they needed to still manage the microscopic residue. There will be 6 sessions of chemo and full strength to try and control the spread starting from 6 weeks after the operation.
	When pain really kills When I was discharged from hospital they had reduced the pain killers to only panadol and nurefen. But the pain was really coming on. I used a few techniques, walking or pacing was one of them. Kept my mind calm and defused the pain. Breathing exercises was another. I tried to stay off the pain killers as much as possible and kept a diary of the the food intake in case there were issues.
	There will be follow up Right after surgery I was moved to Acute care for observation. The doctors arrived next morning to say the mass was malignant and I will have to have chemo. They had given me 2 pints of blood even though there was only 1 pint of blood loss. But my vital stats were not good. I was alert and talking and eating but the machines said otherwise. They start to beep in rhythm every so often that they actually turned it off and took my vitals manually. I joked with the nurses that when the AI machines take over they will pronounce me dead or do CPR just by looking at the stats, even though I was well. Finally they had enough and gave me 3 more pints of blood. Only then could I stand up and the vitals became normal for the machines. Straight up I was transferred to a ward and they prepped discharge the following day.
	It is a lot of clean up There were no major dramas on the day, showed up at the Gyno and Oncology department, they showed us to a room and started prepping. When they were putting on name tags, there was one for my wrist and one for my ankle. I told my husband, "The one in the hand is to id me if I come back to the room. The one in the leg is to id me if I was taken to the morgue" He rumbled that it was to do with if I was asleep and they couldn't see the one in the hand. He did not find it funny. Once I was wheeled into the theatre, they asked me if I knew what was the operation about. I told them that a whole heap of stuff was coming up and then they were going to do a clean up inside ! They thought it was funny.
	"We would love to be proven wrong ..." First appointment with the surgical team and they had already decided what was needed. The doctor had a very concerned look about her face while she explained the gravity of the operation. The list of things that were to come out and the procedure was so long it was going over the space in the form. She asked," I don't know what you are doing on the 22nd, but we have booked you for surgery". I said "I will drop what ever I am doing and come", my husband opened his phone to check his schedule and realised half way through what he was doing and then said ok ! She also said that they would do a biopsy half way through the operation to figure out if the mass was malignant and based on that they will decide what precautionary activities they would do. Hence they cannot decide how long the operation was going to be. She said, "We are basing everything off pictures we have seen. We cant be sure what it is until we take a closer look. We think we are going to find something nasty, but we would love to be proven wrong. "
	Still hopeful All this diagnosis was from a brand new GP and practice that I hadn't gone before. So I booked an appointment to my original GP that I used from 10 years ago so that I could ask more details of what was going on. My argument was that if it was a cyst they will go off on their own and why a surgery is needed. She said the that the scan said it was a "mass" meant that was a totally different thing. My new GP was correct and this is the path to take.
	"It has to come out ..." I set up an appointment to see the doctor about the scan results. But the surgery called 4 hours earlier than the appointment time and asked if I could come immediately to see the doctor. She said there was a "mass" and it needed to come out ASAP. And that she has informed the hospital and they would call me and give me a date. All I could say was "That turned quickly". She also gave me paper work for a CT scan. The only place available was 25km away and we drove straight there to get it done. So suddenly "a pulled muscle" from a cough turned into a urine infection is now a surgery.
	"I don't think you will need that ..." I got an appointment pretty quickly for the ultra sound scan. Because there were two scans and the abs scan needs prep work, only the ultra sound was done on the day. I was curious to know what the results were but usually the radiographers don't reveal much and they ask you to wait for the doctors report. But this lady said at the end of the scan, "It is good that we did this today. I don't think you will need the other scan." Straight away I knew something was up.
	It started with a cough ... Whole month of Feb I was having an on and off dry cough. And what do I do? Drink two bottles of Codral cough syrup, straight out of the bottle too. Cant be bothered with measuring cups and the lot. No relief either. Half way through the second bottle I got a lower ab pain. I genuinely thought I had coughed too hard and pulled a muscle. Just carried on. Till I took a day off to go see the doctor.